London Bridge Is Falling Down
by Cracked silver
Summary: This is a sequel/spin off for my other fic Being Alone Can Lead You to Dark Places. After the loss of his children, Arthur feels that there's nothing left for him, especially since he's betrayed Alfred in one of the worst ways imaginable. Alfred, however, is determined to change his point of view. All the credit to the wonderful anime Hetalia goes to Hidekazu Himaruya.
1. Special Announcement

**Hi...I know the updates are lately, but I was having problems with my wifi and I've been thinking quite a bit about something. I've decided I'm going to rewrite parts of this fic, not because of something someone said, but because I'm not happy with what I'm posting and I don't think I'm putting my best effort into it like I was before. Anyway, I'm sorry, I really truly am, but London Bridge is Falling Down is going to be on hold for a bit. For all of those who have reviewed, favorited, or followed, I really appreciate it. Hopefully the new version is better than this one! Thank you once again and I promise I'll have the new first chapter out by next Friday! See you soon!**


	2. Tears of an Englishman

**If anyone wishes to beat me to death with a brick or bad music, feel free to do so. Things were just getting stressful and I needed a new system. Hopefully things will work out better now. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter! This is nearly identical to the old first chapter of London Bridge is Falling Down, but there are a few minor changes...**

Arthur pulled the old, knitted quilt over his head when he heard the front door open, signifying that Alfred was home from the World Meeting. Closing his eyes, Arthur curled up in a small ball, hoping he resembled a throw pillow or something of that nature. He loved his husband, he really did, but he just didn't feel like socializing right now. Actually, he didn't have the desire to socialize with anyone, and as a result, he'd been avoiding leaving the house. He'd missed the last three World Meetings, but he honestly didn't care at the moment. Nothing mattered anymore.

Since the death of his and Alfred's twins, he'd become more withdrawn, never leaving the house or interacting with his dear Alfred. On the rare occasion he did say something to Alfred, he was usually rejecting food or a warmer blanket. He knew he was hurting Alfred, and it was like stabbing himself in the heart, but he couldn't be bothered to take care of himself when he thought about his children, always coming to the realization that it was _his_ fault, and nothing Alfred could say would change his mind.

The sound of soft footsteps interrupted his thoughts, and Arthur quickly pulled the blanket tighter around himself, hoping that Alfred would catch on and leave him alone.

Today it seemed he would not be getting his way.

''Arthur, ya need to stop blaming yourself!'' Alfred sighed, yanking the blanket away. Well, he actually gently removed it from his lover's body, but to Arthur it felt like Alfred had stolen his sanctuary.

Not having the energy to be annoyed at Alfred's impressive strength, Arthur looked away and shook his head slowly. ''It's my fault, and you know it, Alfred. I wish you would realize that.'' He replied quietly.

Alfred pulled Arthur to his feet and wrapped his arms around the smaller man. Arthur hid his face in Alfred's T-shirt, shaking. Alfred rubbed his back soothingly, rocking him back and forth. ''Let it out, baby.'' He murmured, kissing the messy blonde locks on top of Alfred's head.

''It hurts so much!'' Arthur sobbed, grabbing at the fabric of Alfred's shirt. ''I miss them so much! It's my fault, all my fault! How can you look at me when you know I killed our children?!''

Alfred, wincing as he heard the torrent of self-destructive words pouring out of his love's mouth, continued to do his best to comfort Arthur, hoping that the message would eventually sink in. ''Sweetheart, listen to me, please. It's not your fault. I don't know if it was some cruel twist of fate, or a weird supernatural curse, but it certainly wasn't your fault.'' He said, trying to reason with Arthur.

Alfred watched as another sob rocked the Englishman's body. Arthur, shaking his head weakly, sunk to his knees, letting go of Alfred's shirt as he did so. Alfred kneeled down in front of him and tried to pull Arthur into his lap, but Arthur pulled away with a cry and collapsed on the ground, beating on the worn rug with his fists.

''Arthur!'' Alfred cried. ''Dude, calm down! I know it hurts, believe me I understand more than anyone, but this isn't going to make you feel better!''

Arthur glared at him and sat up, breathing heavily. ''Of course you understand.'' He hissed. ''They were your children, too, you fucking idiot, and I _killed _them! They never got to live…''

Alfred stared at Arthur, more shocked than hurt. ''Arthur…'' He whispered. ''You know that's not true-''

''It _is _true!'' Arthur yelled, standing up. ''It's the only logical explanation, and the sooner you come to terms with it, the better!''

Alfred quickly stood up, watching Arthur, terrified. He'd been watching Arthur walk around like a zombie for the past two months, but Alfred had never seen the green-eyed man break down like this. It was agonizing to watch. ''What do you mean? Why do I suddenly need to come to terms with it? And who says I haven't?'' He asked, tilting his head to the side.

Arthur looked down and wiped his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he looked up at his husband, his green eyes devoid of emotion. ''You'll see.'' He simply said, as he turned around and walked down the hallway. Alfred stood there for a moment, trying to decode his wife's cryptic manage.

Arthur shut the bathroom door and leaned against it, tears pouring down his face. He had to do this. It was the only way to help Alfred, and the only way to truly apologize for killing their children. He nodded once, as if he were encouraging himself to take the next step and walk forward.

''Come on, old chap. Just a few steps forward.'' He whispered, moving toward the medicine cabinet slowly, almost reluctantly. He stopped in front of the cabinet and opened it, hoping Alfred wouldn't hear the creaking noise the small door was making. Once he was sure Alfred wasn't going to kick the door down, he grabbed a bottle of pills. He didn't bother reading the label; it didn't matter what he was taking as long as it did the trick.

''I'm sorry, Alfred.'' He whispered, his green eyes losing their emerald sheen. ''You're still my hero, but I refuse to drag you down with me any longer.'' Closing his eyes, he tipped his head back and downed the entire bottle of pills. He wasn't sure what he'd taken, but it didn't seem to be working. Growling in frustration, he grabbed another bottle and started swallowing the pills.

He was popping another pill in his mouth and was about halfway through the bottle when a dull agony began to spread through his midsection. The pain increased, causing him to double over, and he gasped for breath, regretting everything he'd just done moments before. He thought that if he overdosed on pills, the death would be quick and painless, but the pain in his stomach was quickly growing in strength, and he had soon collapsed on the ground, hitting his head on the counter as he fell. Now having to contend with the pain in his stomach and the new bruise on his forehead, Arthur whimpered and reached for the doorknob, suddenly wishing his hero had been there to stop him. But maybe he deserved this pain…he had committed a great sin, after all…Pleased that he was going to be punished for his crimes at last, he closed his eyes and embraced the pain that was quickly spreading through his entire body. Alfred would finally be free of him.

Alfred, terrified about the meaning of Arthur's words, was making his way to the bathroom door, a feeling of dread settling in his stomach as he placed his hand on the doorknob. It was too quiet. Usually when Arthur had a breakdown, he would run into the bathroom and spend the next hour or so destroying it while he screamed and cried. The silence was almost like a…death sentence. Like a final warning that something terrible had happened, and there wasn't a thing Alfred could do to stop it from happening. He shook his head. That was ridiculous. He _was _the hero. It was his job to save helpless citizens, and right now the helpless citizen in question was the love of his life. Taking a deep breath, he turned the knob, opening the door.

The smell of vomit hit him first, and he hurried inside, anxious. Arthur must've done something stupid, and Alfred was beginning to worry he wouldn't be able to pull Arthur out of this slump.

His fears were soon verified when he found Arthur convulsing on the floor, vomit and something that looked like white foam leaking out of the corner of his mouth. He was lying in a pool of his own vomit, and there two pill bottles next to him. One was empty.

''ARTHUR!'' Alfred screamed, running over and kneeling down next to his lover, ignoring the puddle of sick. ''Arthur, baby, please wake up!'' He shrieked, lifting Arthur up. Cradling the smaller man against his chest, he ran out of the bathroom, panicking.

He kicked the front door down and ran down the street, not bothering to get into the truck. That would take too much time. It would be quicker to run to the hospital and hope that they'd be able to save Arthur his actions caused irreparable damage.

He reached the ER after an agonizingly long fifteen minutes and hurried over to the nurse's station. Panting, he looked at the startled woman, tears pooling out of his blue eyes.

''Please, you have to help him! He swallowed some pills, and I…'' His voice trailed off as Arthur's convulsions grew more violent. The nurse nodded, all business, and soon Arthur was being wheeled off on a gurney, his body jerking around aggressively as the convulsions took their toll on him. Alfred watched as they pushed the gurney through a set of double doors and out of his sight. Biting his lip, he turned back to the nurse.

''Miss, you have to let me go with him! He's my partner…please…'' He begged, hoping the nurse would realize the true urgency of the situation and take him to his Arthur.

The nurse gazed at him sympathetically. ''Mel, I'll be back in a moment or two.'' She murmured, and another nurse nodded. The first nurse walked over to Alfred and grabbed his wrist, gently tugging him towards the ominous double doors, the double doors Arthur might not walk through after all of this was over…

Allowing the nurse to lead him through the doors, he trudged down the hallway, gazing up at the buzzing, yellow, florescent lights. He was so focused on the light, focused on not crying, that he nearly ran the nurse over when she stopped in front of a door. Alfred tensed, looking in the small window set in the door, hoping for a small glimpse of Arthur. After all, Arthur needed to know that his hero was there for him.

There was a tube in Arthur's nose, and it was obvious it was causing him extreme pain. He was crying, tears leaving streaks on his cheeks as two nurses held him down, preventing him from thrashing about during the procedure. Alfred covered his mouth with a hand, watching in horror as the contents of Arthur's stomach were suctioned through the tube. The nurse placed a hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump.

''Come on, hun, you don't need to watch anymore. He'll be in a room soon enough, and you'll be able to visit.'' She said gently. Alfred glanced in the little window again, worrying at his bottom lip. He really didn't want to leave Arthur alone in this cold, generic place. True, they were saving his life, but no one showed any true, heartfelt kindness in hospitals.

''If it's all right, I'd like to stay here and wait. Will I be able to follow them to his room?'' Alfred mumbled, looking at the floor.

''Of course you can. Just let the doctor know who you are when they come out of the room. Don't want anyone thinking you're just loitering about, now do we?'' Alfred shook his head, and the nurse gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before leaving him alone in the hallway.

With a sigh, Alfred leaned against the wall, waiting for that moment when the doctor would come out of that room and tell him what was going to happen to Arthur. After a few minutes, impatience and panic began creeping their way into his veins. What was taking so long? How many pills had Arthur swallowed? Would the doctors and nurses be able to save his life? He was saved from pondering these questions when the door slowly opened and the doctor walked out. Arthur couldn't read the doctor's expression, so he quietly cleared his throat. The doctor turned and smiled tiredly at Alfred.

''Hello, sir? Can I help you? Are you lost?'' The man asked, regarding Alfred with his kind brown eyes.

Alfred shook his head. ''No, I'm not lost. I'm his partner.'' He managed weakly, looking at the room, wanting nothing more than to run in there and be Arthur's hero. The doctor nodded, wearing that annoying sympathetic smile. Alfred was sick of people smiling at him with pity in their eyes. He wanted to know what was going to happen to Arthur!

''Well, I'm Doctor Garrows, and I wish we were meeting under better circumstances. Arthur's lucky you got him here when you did. We just barely managed to get the poison out of his system. We're going to have to keep him here under observation for the next few days, to make sure we've gotten everything out of his system. Do I mind if I ask you a few questions? It'll only take a few minutes, and then you'll be able to sit with him.'' Alfred nodded numbly, and Doctor Garrows continued. ''Do you know what would've caused him to ingest what he did? Has he ever had suicidal tendencies?''

''He, um, our children died in childbirth a couple months ago, and he's been blaming himself ever since. He has attempted suicide a couple times before today, but I always managed to calm him down before he did anything drastic…'' Alfred replied, looking down. Doctor Garrows nodded and patted Alfred on the back before walking down the hallway. Alfred stood, frozen, until he heard the door open again and the slight creak as a gurney was rolled down the hallway. Alfred looked up and watched as a nurse wheeled the gurney down the hallway. Arthur was stretched out on it, clearly asleep.

_'At least he doesn't seem to be in pain anymore…' _He thought, following the nurse and his sleeping lover, not bothering to wonder how the doctor had known Arthur's name.

Arthur was checked into a hospital room and hooked up to several machines. Alfred was sitting in a chair, holding his wife's hand. Arthur had been resting peacefully for the last hour, and Doctor Garrows had come in several times and assured Alfred that Arthur was doing fine. All Alfred really wanted, however, was for Arthur to wake up and tell Alfred why he'd been so determined this time around.

About forty-five minutes later, Arthur blinked a couple times, doing his best to wake up. He was highly confused. The last thing he remembered was collapsing on the bathroom floor as the pain in his stomach took over. The only things he could feel now were an ache in his stomach and throat and a familiar hand squeezing his own.

''A-Alfred?'' He croaked, looking over at his husband. Alfred smiled, relief plain on his face. It was clear that he had feared Arthur wouldn't wake up. Arthur studied Alfred's face for a moment, then burst into tears. He just couldn't smile when he knew that Alfred had realized that he had been so determined to take his own life.

''Artie, what is it? Are you pain? Do you want more pain meds?'' Alfred rambled frantically, looking at his partner worriedly, already reaching for the call button.

Arthur shook his head. No pain medication could numb the guilt he felt, no matter how strong. ''I can't believe I was so idiotic…'' He whispered. ''I just thought….''

''Thought what?'' Alfred asked nervously, not sure he would like Arthur's answer.

''I was certain you'd be better off without me interfering with your life…'' Arthur mumbled, still refusing to meet Alfred's eyes.

Alfred stared at his lover, absolutely horrified. He had known that Arthur felt guilty for the death of their twins, but he had never thought that Arthur would feel like he was slowly ruining Alfred's life.

''Iggy, that's not true, and you know it. If anything, you've made my life better, and if you had died in that room, I would've died with you.'' Alfred replied quietly. Arthur nodded, though Alfred wasn't sure he had registered what had been said.

''Yeah, all right.'' Arthur muttered, closing his eyes again. Alfred sighed. What was it going to take for Arthur to realize that no one blamed him for what had happened to the twins?

''Can I ask you something, Arthur?'' Alfred asked, blue eyes expressionless.

Arthur shrugged, indicating that he didn't really mind. Alfred continued. ''Do you still want to die?''

Arthur opened his eyes and looked at Alfred, really looking at him for the first time in two months. Alfred relaxed slightly, hoping this was a good sign. Arthur considered the question. Did he want to die? He wasn't sure. On the one hand, he wanted to be happy and stay with Alfred. On the other hand, he wanted to die and stop hurting everyone he cared about. But which was the right choice? He simply shrugged, closing his eyes again.

'''Cover my eyes. Cover my ears. Tell me these words are a lie. It can't be true that I'm losing you. The sun cannot fall from the sky. Can you hear heaven cry the tears of an angel?''' Alfred sang softly, moving closer to Arthur. Arthur opened his eyes, surprised and touched. That had been his favorite song for years, but how had Alfred known?

''T-that's my…'' Arthur began, his voice trailing off. Alfred smiled and kissed his cheek gently. Arthur continued to stare at his husband in shock, wondering where Alfred was going with this.

''Your favorite song? I know. I thought it suited the situation rather well.'' Alfred replied, sitting down next to Arthur on the crisp white sheets of the hospital bed.

''What do you mean?'' Arthur asked slowly.

''Well, I don't want to believe I'm losing you, baby. I just don't, and I think Heaven would sob if you died before it was time, though I don't think I'll ever be ready for that time. I don't want you to let go.''

Arthur blinked a couple of times, unable to process what Alfred had just told him. Alfred _didn't_ want him to die? He started crying and covered his face with his hands. Alfred wrapped an arm around his shoulders, clearly worried.

''Artie? Baby?'' He asked, concern entering his voice.

''Y-you're so sweet…and you j-just keep saving me…and oh God!'' Arthur sobbed, hiding his face in Alfred's shirt. Alfred rubbed his back, relieved that something seemed to have gotten through to his Arthur.

''Of course I do. I'm your hero.'' He replied, kissing the top of Arthur's head. Arthur clung to Alfred's shirt, still sobbing. Both were recalling a similar situation, one that didn't have as happy an ending.

''Please don't stop being my hero.'' Alfred mumbled, wiping his eyes as he looked up at Alfred. Alfred shook his head and kissed him gently.

''Never.'' He promised.

Arthur was released from the hospital two days later with a clean bill of health. Strangely enough, none of the pills had done any permanent damage to his body, and the doctors told him he was very lucky that his husband had gotten him to the hospital when he had. Arthur had nodded, happy to be leaving the eerily sterile environment. He missed the house he shared with Alfred, where there always seemed to be at least one pizza box or Big Mac wrapper on the floor. The messiness was calming. The cleanliness of the hospital was simply unnerving…Arthur walked out of the hospital, politely declining the offers of help from the nurses, and leaned against the wall, waiting for his lover. Alfred had gone home to get the truck so Arthur wouldn't have to walk home. Though he was technically healthy, he was still exhausted from the whole ordeal.

Alfred pulled up in the truck and reached over to open the passenger side door. Arthur climbed in, shutting the door behind him, and buckled his seatbelt as Alfred drove off.

''Ready to go home?'' Alfred asked, not bothering to ask the question that was really on his mind. He had already asked Arthur if he was okay a hundred times, but he kept getting the same reply.

Arthur nodded and curled up in the seat, closing his eyes. He was feeling a bit better, but he wasn't ready to believe that Alfred could be right about him not being guilty.

Alfred pulled into their driveway and pulled the key out of the ignition. He turned to Arthur. ''Ready?''

Arthur nodded and got out of the truck, shutting the door. He slowly walked towards the front door, then stopped, waiting for Alfred to unlock it. Alfred bit his lip, hoping his plan would work, and got out of the car. He walked over to the front door and placed the key in the lock. Once the door was unlocked, he pushed it open and moved aside so Arthur could go first. Arthur shuffled inside and kicked his shoes off, collapsing on the couch. Alfred followed, shutting and locking the door behind him. Hanging his keys on a hook, he kicked his shoes off as well and walked over to a stereo. He picked up a small remote and pushed 'play'.

_Cover my eyes. Cover my ears. Tell me these words are a lie. It can't be true that I'm losing you. The sun cannot fall from the sky._

_Can you hear heaven cry the tears of an angel? Tears of aaaaaaaaaaaa….tears of an angel. Tears of an angel._

Arthur sat up and gazed at his husband, emotion flickering in the depths of his emerald green eyes. It was his song. Alfred was playing his song on the stereo. Alfred held out his arms and Arthur stood up slowly, unsure. Alfred smiled softly and Arthur hurried into Alfred's arms. Alfred began to spin around the living room, singing along with the stereo.

_Stop every clock. Stars are in shock. The river would run to the sea. I won't let you fly. I won't say goodbye. I won't let you sleep away from me. _

_Can you hear heaven cry the tears of an angel? Tears of aaaaaaaaaaaaaa…..tears of an angel. Tears of an angel._

Arthur laughed, the first truly happy sound he'd made in quite awhile. Alfred grinned and continued to spin his partner around the room. Arthur stood up on his tiptoes and kissed Alfred, smiling when the blue-eyed man kissed him back. The kiss slowly grew more intense, and Arthur moaned, wrapping his arms around Alfred's neck. Alfred lifted him up and carried him back to the couch. Arthur stretched out on the couch and pulled Alfred down on top of him, attacking his neck with kisses. Alfred moaned and fumbled with Arthur's belt for a moment before he managed to yank Arthur's trousers and boxers down. Arthur moaned softly as cold air hit his hard member.

''Alfred…'' He whimpered, green eyes glazed over with lust. ''Need you…inside me…now…'' Alfred nodded, panting, and pulled down his own trousers. Once both pairs of trousers were on the floor, he slammed into Arthur, groaning. Arthur moaned and arched against him as Alfred slammed into him repeatedly.

''F-faster!'' He cried, closing his eyes when Alfred hit his spot. Alfred nodded and quickened his pace, hitting Arthur in his spot over and over. ''C-close…'' he moaned, tilting his head back as he continued to fuck his lover. Arthur wrapped his legs around Alfred's waist, forcing him to go in deeper. Alfred groaned and started making out with Arthur sloppily. Arthur kissed him back, then screamed and released all over Alfred's shirt. Alfred slammed into Arthur a few more times, then released, moaning softly. He kissed Arthur gently, then pulled out, collapsing on top of Arthur. Arthur wrapped his arms around his neck and closed his eyes, panting heavily.

''Iggy?'' Alfred asked breathlessly, voice muffled by Arthur's shirt.

''Hmmm?'' Arthur mumbled, half asleep.

''I love you.''

''I love you, too, hero.''

_So hold on. Be strong. Every day hope will grow. I'm here, don't you fear._

_Little one, don't let go! (ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh) Don't let go! (ohhhhhhhhhhhh) Don't let go! (ohhhhhhh) _

_Cover my eyes. Cover my ears. Tell me these words are a lie._


End file.
